“I WISH I HADN’T” – THE LAWYER AND THE LAW FIRM
It is now fashionable to “report” this: “‘Men who have dedicated immense amounts of time to work look back over their lives and say, ‘I wish I hadn’t. I wish I had spent more time with my family,’ but no men ever say, ‘I wish I had spent more time working.'”
On these grounds, along with many others, some contemn law firms as unhappiness generating places.
This claim is false, and its falsity can be proved or–at least–illustrated by all sorts of examples. Here’s one, “I wish I hadn’t spent quite so much time with my family. By cutting down on work, I couldn’t pay for all of my four kids college tuition, so they are now in debt.”
And here is another: “I wish I hadn’t spent so much time with my wife and kids and sent them all–even my wife–to high prestige colleges. Now I don’t have enough money to provide us a decent retirement.”
Not all reactions are quite so healthy. Here are a few.
“I wish I’d spent more time working. I didn’t like my wife much, and my children were a huge headache. I like being alone anyway. I certainly would never tell anybody this because it would reflect badly on me.”
“I wish I’d spent more time at the office. My wife hated me. I only lived with it to protect the kids, and in retrospect, I realize they did not need protection, I did.”
“If I’d stayed at the office more, I might have avoided the alcoholism, that damn near ruined everything. I enjoy work more than partying anyway, but she was the reverse, and I went along. I wish I weren’t so fucking weak. I should have refused it all and not chased so much p—y”
“If I had immersed myself in law practice–what I have really loved–I would have been easier going, and my family would have liked me more, and I would have done the kids more good than my temper did. I even went to therapy about what I regarded as a problem and even smoked a little weed to cure it, but nothing worked. I belong in a library.”
(One must be careful about saying things like that these days. Some of the “Big Data” “advertisements,” mostly coming from insurance agencies and companies seeking business opportunities by hawking the use of their services for achieving Big Data redemption or revolution, say that lawyers have simply been nothing but “librarians,” up to now, but they will set them free by means of using for them or teaching them how to use “Big Data.”)
SOME LAWYERS ARE LIKE THIS. SOME LAW FIRMS LET THAT SORT BREED THEIR TRUE SELVES, SAVE MARRIAGES, OR BRING BAD MARRIAGES TO A TIMELY AND PERHAPS HEALING END. OF COURSE, MANY MANY MEN ARE NOT LIKE THIS AT ALL, BUT SOME ARE, AND THAT FACT SHOULD NOT BE DENIED OR FORGOTTEN.
LAWYERS AND OTHERS MIGHT KEEP IN MIND THAT THE FORGOING IS TRUE, BUT SUBSTANTIALLY LESS THAN UNIVERSAL. IT MIGHT EVEN WORK FOR SOME WOMEN. MAYBE SOME LAW FIRMS CAN HELP WITH THIS.
Originally posted on 06/06/2013 @ 6:41 pm